Neither here nor there...

hey beard lovers. so a couple weeks ago i posted a status about being in the midsts of a crisis. id been thinking about my life progress and my relationship with god. (sorry, this post is gonna be all lowercase cuz my phone is stupid). i realized i'm not the same person i was in highschool (praise god), but i'm still not the person i want to be, and i don't see myself making progress towards that. my next problem? i don't know where to begin in becoming that person. the person i wish to be is someone who quiet spirited, but not shy. someone who defaults to "lets pray" as a solution. someone who doesn't just blend into the wall, but also isn't overly concerned with being seen. most importantly, i want to be fearless. I'm tired of living life in fear of things. Fear of failure (i figured out how to uppercase now) (this is where my phone went berserk.  The rest of this is typed on a computer.) Fear of rejection (especially this!!). I've missed out on sooo many opportunities because I was too afraid to be rejected. Even in situations where I should have expected acceptance. I run. Because it's easy. Because it's safe. Because rejection sucks. Heartache sucks. But....it's boring in the "safe" zone. And I know that any risk worth taking is either going to end with me feeling elated or depressed, but it's the possibility of failure that makes the feeling of victory so good, right? I just wish sometimes my heart had shock absorbers, but I know that will never be the case. So, where do I go from here? How do I lose the fear? For I know my Father has not given me a spirit of fear, but how do I let go? Just the thought of doing things boldly freaks me out...What's the first step? Pray for me you guys. I need it.